Feythurr ubbum bin zackly since tha awld lecksuns, tha chap ee vawted fun dedun git in saw ee bin taisy uz a snaake ever since, goin on all day bout tha country goin ta tha dogs und ow iz penshun dawnt gaw nawhere, I tellee sum days I’d sooner be a donkey in a sand pit uz ta listen ta ee goin on.
Then ta cap un all ee gawt tha faace ache, my gar wot a conflopshun you, ee screeched like a pig caught in a gaate all night, stankun tha planchuns. Mind, poor sawl ad sum faace und eyes on un, chacks blawed up like a pig’s blad-der. We phawned tha denthust nine sharp und slocked un inta seeun Feythurr tween paashunts cuz theym sum busy these days. Turned out ee wuddun git in tha car ta gaw in tha end, I cud av scat to un thaw I do knaw Percy Rawe dropped everythin ta taake un in Trurra too, I wuz maazed widdun. Then 1 ad ta phawne tha dentust ta splain un all ta ee, ees a dear till chap, av seen a braa few summers und tawld me ta shove sum asprin down feythurr’s uzzle ta calm un down und eed see un morra.
Cissie Awke called in tha midst av un all, course she allwuz gawt gaw on bout tryun sum awld wimmins diddles. Tawld we ta taake a ank av liggin. mind ee gawt ta be picked afturr tah tide av turned. That gawt be dried in tha cuveeack side av tha slab. then boiled with an onion. Awl I gawt ta say is that tha smill alawne ought ta do tha trick. Feythurr wud smill like a giggy dust with that spread auvurr iz chacks.
Course maid Cissie ubbum gawt a tooth in er ead, she ad um all out Coronashun year und tha dentust fixed er up proppurr with a andsum pair av clashers, she dawnt wear urn thaw be all counts er gums quailed und they da slop round. uz she da say, “A empty owse iz better un a grumblun tenant, anyow I dawn’t need um knaw more than a tawd da need side pawkuts, cun thaw me croust uz good uz gawld.” Woss she like un?
I gawtt to thinkun bout Granfurr und ow cc usta ta tell we bout when the ad git on a ass und gaw down Perranporth ta tha blacksmith if they ad faace ache years agaw. Mind I gawt admit Gramfurr usta like drop drink. saw I cun beleburn when ee tawld us ee usta call in every pub on tha way ta gibbum courage like. Years agaw tha blacksmith went round ta tha villuges seeun ta teeth, you might think twuz Taytrate Day if yew cummed pon a plaace ee wuz aillun teeth in.
The village band would be blawun like tha belluz in tha rawd, twuz ta drownout tha noise av tha poor sawls beun see to. Common sense idden a? Cus if fawkes urd others screechun twud put um off avun theers done, saw just uz blacksmith aaved-to eed ball, “Gibbum bell tink boys,” Granfurr tawld me thut many a tooth wuz pulled ta, yur anchurr hawld in tha storms av life.”
Now, sum da look at me maazed whin I da tell um bout this, but you just think pon un, wot would they dear beau-ties av dun without blacksmith in they days ta git um out av theer pain? Wuddun sich things us dentusts around saw who else did they av ta pull teeth? Who else ad tha tools? Und mawst important av awl, who else ad tha sprawl ta pull they geat gnashurrs out?? Mind Granfurr said twuz betturr un tha magic lanturn sumtimes, ee minded Gassy Goyne cummun down tha rawd ta av iz tooth out. Ee wuz sum forthy sticked up like the roosturr down mowey ee wuddin urried bout un awl. Still nawthun da bring ee ta ground like tha faace ache und ee slunked out av blacksmith’s shop lookun sum wisht und foust when twuz awl auvurr.
Anyow, glad ta say Feythurr ad iz tooth pulled next day. mind ee dedun aff play on un fun- days. sa much fuss-an-towse with un ee scat tha pace av ower owse ta scubbuns fun- days yew. Mind. a man dawnt feel well when ees poor-ley do a ? Und we da awl kick up dido when we gawt faace ache spawse.