Nex ta we av just bin sawld
New parties av moved in,
They’m sumwhere frum uplong
A pia-ace they da call Kings Lynn.
They’m daicunt sawls sure nuff
Tha missus da seem quite fitty.
But my gar tha way that she da talk
Is stra-ange ee iz sum pity.
She dawn’t reely seem quite zackly
Whin I da say, “Cummus on me bird,”
She geeked ut me uz if I was ma-azed
Dedun seem ta understand a wurd.
She muss be deef uz a angle detch
Or caint seem ta fathom out
Tha words und things thut I da say
Or what I’m gassun bout.
Whin I da say, “I’ve streamed tha clawm
Shall uss av a cup a tay?”
She da look ut me taddley-oodly
Plum gook uz she can be.
She’s uz pretty uz a picture you
All drissed up like Sally Hatch.
But dawn’t seem ta knaw whin I da say, “The apse,”
I da mean tha back door latch.
If I da say, “Cummus cross tha drixull
Dawntee scat against the durns,”
Sne da stand there like a pylak you
Uz if she’s goin av one av er turns.
If I da ask er ta bring the clawthes in
If ee da cum ta skew
Und da tell er wheer the tlaskutt is
She dawn’t seem ta knaw wot to do.
She muss be boilun i i money,
Not penny la-akun like we.
Saw you’d think she’d knaw wot fawkes da mean
Und not act z gooky uz she.
Whin I da tell her ta bring her frail
Ta Trurra markutt day,
She da stand sa much like a Buzza ead
I cud scat er out tha way.
She nivurr seen a privvy you
Saw I shawed er owurrrs out tha back,
A three-awlurr, ees sum andsum
Just bin painted be Uncle Jack.
Er fa-ace ee wint quite ashun,
Und she shrinked up her nawse.
Thaw I da think ees brabum andsum
Sittun neath the shaws.
Tha sa-ates iz ma-ade av apple wood
Cumfurtable, smooth und fine
With tha West Briton scat up in squares
Angun pon bindurr twine.
She nivurr seen a slab you,
Nor eard av saffrun ca-ake,
She caint crimp a pasty tall
Nor do a hunder rawste ba-ake.
Whin I da say, “Me roof iz riffled
Und me laundurrs lagged with rust
Und tha garduns full av milky dicels,”
Yewd think I wuz gassun double dutch.
She dawn’t knaw guckoos iz blue bells,
Nun tha grey burd iz a thrush.
Nur they emmetts iz murrions
Und ta coose da mean all av a rush.
tawid er f ggan da mea a bun
Und linney da mean a shed.
Ui d tha veers iz little suckun pigs
Thaw I da wundurr if she eard wot I said
Still I spawse she caint reely elp un,
They dawn’t blong ta speak like we.
Und weem going ta se pants I cun feel un,
Saw av ta learn er ta steak propurrly.